Light at the End of the Tunnel

Happy New Year! It's been a long last year for me. I gave birth to twins and have managed to make it almost through the first year of their life. Here's a look into a day in the life of a mother with twin infants and a 2 year old.
I nurse them each for 30minutes each feeding, so there's about 4-5 hours a day right there. Then I feed them in their high chairs as well as making food for my 2 year old, who still requires me to feed him sometimes and still makes huge messes. That takes about 4 more hours a day. Then I change 15-20 diapers a day. That's about another hour and a half. Then of course there is bed time and nap routines for all 3. That accounts for about 2 hours of the day. Also about 2 hours a day just dealing with all their other needs and keeping the babies safe from my 2 year old's lovely acts of brotherhood. 13 hours a day at least! Now you have to add the 3 hours a day I spend, eating enough and drinking enough just to nurse these 2. 16 hours a day. It is soooo exhausting.
But, there is light at the end of this tunnel. I hate to say this but I can't wait to wean! I have been pregnant and/or nursing for the past 31/2 years now. I am so looking forward to having my body back to myself. To eat what ever I want and drink whatever I want and not worry about how it will affect my milk. But more than that, I will free up that 4-5 hours of my day!! Imagine what I could do with 4-5 hours a day. Maybe I will finally get control of my house. Plus, I could give the babies their sippies of milk and throw 'em in the stroller and take my 2 year old son to the park. The possibilities are endless.
I often fantasize about the day everyone goes off to school and I can get a few hours a day of quiet time. How awesome will that be. I also can't wait until my kids come home and tell me about their days at school and to meet the friends that they make. I can't wait to learn who my kids are. To see what they come up with when asked to do projects or pick a musical instrument to play. Or what sports they'll like, if any. I can't wait to have an actual conversation with them. It's already interesteing to listen to what's on my son's mind when he rambles on an on.
I have never been much of a baby person. Of course my own, I love, but even so, the older they get, the more I love them. My favorite age group is 12-14. They are at such an awkward time in their life but I beleive that is the most important age for people. What happens then either makes them or breaks them. Not that they can't break free of that, but that is the time that they start shaping who they are, in hopes to fit in. They have broken free of elementary school life, where teachers and parents make all the decisions for them. They start picking their classes and extra curicullar activities. They prepare for high school, which at the time, seems like the ultimate goal. When they are allowed these freedoms they start to take shape and learn more about who they are. I have always had a heart for this age group. I used to work with them in church. Back when I had time on my hands. I can't wait to work with my own at that age. I know most people are scared of that age but I feel like God has allowed me to remember that age vividly so that I could relate to them and not be intimidated by them. I remember what was important to me and how most adults didn't care. I also remember those adults who did care, and did understand. To this day, the things those adults said to me, affect how I live my life today. Unfortunately those who didn't care and didn't understand still have an impact on me as well. I remember most of my childhood from 4 on. I remember huge events that happened before 12, and I just don't think they affected me as much as stuff after 12. I know they had some impact but 12-14 was when things started to really count. Everything before then just set the stage for that stage of my life.
That's just my theory. I'm open to see what life has to show me. I have a lot of theories. I know I still have a lot to learn and I look forward to continuing my journey as a mother. So far, it has made me a stronger woman. It has also changed the way I look at life. Things that seemed so important to me before are so trivial now. And things that seemed trivial before are precious to me now.